It’s a rare occasion when a bride does not have at least one shower thrown for her before she takes the momentous trip down the aisle. Generally, brides are given multiple showers with different purposes in mind-such as a home shower, lingerie shower, etc. Regardless of the style and type of shower, unless the bride has been married before she usually has some questions on proper shower etiquette. This also holds true for the family and friends of the bride. One of the most often pondered and asked questions regarding showers involve proper etiquette for wedding shower invitations. Just about anyone can host a wedding shower and have their name included as host or hostess on the wedding shower invitations, but there are some rules of etiquette that should be obeyed. While close friends and some relatives such as cousins, siblings and aunts may host the shower, the mothers of grandmothers or other very close relatives of the bride or groom should not host the shower.
Another idea to keep in mind is that it is considered very poor etiquette to send wedding shower invitations to people you are not planning to invite to the wedding. In situations like this, you appear to be asking only for gifts and this is quite rude and basically, poor behavior. Circumstances where this would be appropriate are when you have eloped and someone is kind enough to throw you a bridal shower after the fact. Hostesses should also keep in mind that it is polite to send wedding shower invitations to mothers of both the bride and the groom, even though under most circumstances they will be well aware of the event and have the date and time already programmed into their mind. This is a social nicety that should be observed and many mothers like to preserve wedding shower invitations in their scrapbooks.
One of the most confusing problems arises when the bride is being given multiple wedding showers. In this case, all care must be taken to insure that wedding shower invitations are not sent to the same people for different showers. For example, if Aunt Sue is invited to the main bridal shower, you wouldn’t invite her to the lingerie shower as well because she would then feel obligated to purchase two gifts.
It is quite appropriate to indicate where the bride, and groom, is registered on the wedding shower invitations. Most guests consider this to be helpful in deciding on gifts. Guests then have the option of either checking out your registry or deciding on their own what to give you. Online registries have made it much easier, especially for guests, who live out of town to stay involved.
One of the most popular traditions involves a hostess gift. This gift is usually a fairly large gift because several people can pitch in towards the cost. If numerous people are helping to host the shower, the cost per individual can be quite reasonable. The main hostess, however, should always make a point to inform everyone involved what the cost per person will be so that no one is stuck paying for something they really can’t afford.
Wedding shower themes are especially appropriate if the bride and groom wish to have a couple’s shower. With a themed wedding shower, the bride and groom receive “extra” items that are nice to have, but not absolutely necessary to set up a household. If you opt to have a theme for the event, be sure the theme is clearly listed on the wedding shower invitations. Some possible themes are as follows:
- At an outdoor shower, guests bring camping equipment and gadgets.
- At a grill shower, guests bring anything related to cooking outdoors.
- At a bar shower, guests bring wine or other types of liquor and everything a well stocked bar would need such as mixers, shakers and various types of glasses.
- At a recipe shower, guests bring a recipe and a gift to help make the recipe.
- At a gardening shower, guests bring any type of gardening tool, plants or gift certificates to a gardening center.
